Matt: “Banter With Bad Boy Billy” – I really enjoyed reading this blog, and I am glad that you were able to give us lots of background detail before springing into the dialogue. It sucks how rotten your friend’s life seems to be going, and because of your attention to detail, I felt like I was standing at a distance watching your guys’ conversation with your face freaking out as the conversation progressed and your friend’s smile fading as you kept asking the wrong questions. I definitely can relate to that particular incident. “More Office Hijinx” – It was definitely another story that I found interesting. You really make me feel like I am there in the story with you because of how much background you provide. It’s a good thing, in my eyes. The only thing I could see needed a revision was one of the last sentences when Bob is asking Mike about the snake…”Can you can see how this could be a bad idea?” It’s just a typo, but that’s all I could find. “Why I Can’t Write This Prompt” – What’s funny about this blog is that you technically did do that prompt by persuading us that you were incapable of being persuasive without being aggressive, yet it actually works. It’s a subtle argument and although you might not have meant to persuade us, you in fact did. Good job for not meaning to try.
Miranda: “Homeless Ravioli” – You did a great job following the dialogue prompt on this one. There was very little background and you let the dialogue do the explaining. I couldn’t find anything that needed critiquing on that one. It looked and read great to me. “The Crazy They Bring” – What an awesome story to tell. Just from the all the dialogue, I could tell how frustrating and confusing it could have been to have your friend make plans and then cancel, but at least in the end your friends really didn’t flake. I was seriously keeping my fingers crossed for you as the blog continued, just hoping that your friends were messing with you on your birthday. The dialogue was great and easy to follow. “I Will Win” – It’s a nice short and sweet piece. I understand your feelings behind glitter not being accepted and how that can be especially irritating to you when other works of art, that really don’t seem to have anything special about them, are considered priceless works of art. I like the simplicity behind the blog.
Nicola: “Drawing an Interaction” - The blog was quite interesting. I don’t know very much about architecture and drafting, so it was nice to hear more about a subject that is unfamiliar to me. The only thing I might offer advice about is making some sentences into compound or complex sentences because I think a few of the sentences were fragments, but other then that I appreciated the divided paragraphs and what you had to say. J “Dialogue” – Super cute story! Your daughter sounds very bright and she’s lucky to have you be there for her with school. And by the way, I like your idea behind the money for grades…I bet that really works. And you did a fine job with the dialogue. All that I can suggest is punctuation and working on where to place the commas and such in each paragraph. Other then that, great job!
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