Prompt 37 Variation: Short-lived Idol

  My family consists of huge groups of baseball fanatics, and as a young girl, I was in love with Kirby Puckett from the Minnesota Twins.  I used to run around the house all day long and yell out, “K.irby….Buckett!” just because I didn’t know any better that the baseball player’s actual last name was Puckett, not Buckett. Plus, my parents thought it was adorable that I couldn’t get the name right, so that only encouraged me to continue spouting out the wrong name.  Eventually as time progressed and my ability to read got even stronger, I would rent books from the library or actually buy biographical books on Kirby. I was head-over-heels for a guy that I really didn’t know much about, and considered him to be my baseball idol.

   I even remember one time my dad got the two of us tickets to wait in line at a baseball signing, just so I could get up close and personal and have Kirby autograph a baseball for me. I was so excited and so nervous while waiting in line, and even when I got an arm’s length apart from him, I clammed up and wasn’t even able to speak much to him. That was a day that was unforgettable for me.

   Unfortunately though, Kirby Puckett did not stay on the Minnesota Twins forever, and was forced to retire due to losing vision in one eye because of Glaucoma, which then led to his self-destruction. In 2002, Puckett began letting himself go and acting out inappropriate ways. There were claims that he had assaulted a woman in a restroom while out to dinner, and he was then charged with false imprisonment, sexual misconduct, and assault. I remember hearing on the news how the newly retired nominee for the Baseball Hall of Fame was arrested for all the misdemeanors and felony, and I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that my favorite baseball player, who I had been rooting for all those years, had turned into such a monster. Soon, when people would ask what baseball team I liked the most, or what my favorite baseball player was, I would say, “Kirby Puckett before he went all looney.” 

    After Kirby, I really didn’t idolize any other famous person. It wasn’t because Kirby made me lose faith in celebrities, it’s more because after hearing what Kirby Puckett did or supposedly did, I just started realizing all those famous people are human too, so what’s the point in idolizing them? And I try not to remember Kirby Puckett as the low-life he became after his baseball career, but rather as the baseball star so many fans loved and enjoyed watching.  Plus, what would be the point? He died two years after being acquitted on those charges, so it’s not like he lived very much longer to inflict more suffering. So I would rather remember him as Kirby… Buckett then as the possible Kirby Puckett convict.

Prompt 34: Yummy Goodness

  I started working part-time at a bar in East Mesa, and almost every Monday night, once the bar closes and the employees are free to leave, we get into our cars and putt our way down a few blocks to AppleBee’s where we sit in their bar until closing. Now, I am not a beer kind of girl and I prefer to drink the slushier kinds of alcoholic beverages, but I’m not a huge margarita fan nor do I have much knowledge about any other drinks, so I decided to confide in a person who I thought would be an expert on the subject, the bartender herself. Once I found my seat at the bar, I called over Jenny (the usual bartender), “So I want a slushy drink but not a margarita. What can you make me that tastes amazing and is also blended?” She takes a moment to think with one hand on her forehead and the other on her hip and begins to concoct something in her head. Then her eyes light up, and she says, “I know the perfect drink! Give me one second.” So I watch as she begins to formulate my delicious drink, trying to keep track of the multiple ingredients being thrown into the blender. Eventually, I give up, and decide to just ask her for the recipe once she finishes. In just a few moments later, Jenny walks over with a massive pink slushy drink with a strawberry on the rim. She stands in front of me as I take my first sip…”Mmmm….tastes like sherbet!” Jenny looks relieved and excited that she made a drink from scratch that fit perfectly into my criteria. After consuming a few more sips, I clear my throat long enough to ask for the ingredients. “So Jenny what wonderful things did you put into this scrumptious drink of your’s?” Jenny looks back at the row of alcohol and flavors from which she drew her inspiration and replied, “Well, I took equal portions of sprite and lemonade, added a few pumps of raspberry syrup, a few pumps of strawberry syrup since raspberry can be a little weak in flavor, and then topped it off with vodka. Pretty simple once I figured out what to add together. So, it’s that good huh?” I nod enthusiastically and continue to consume the perhaps dangerous drink in front of me until I am forced to break due to an unbearable brain freeze.

Peer Reviews 03-29

Matt: I like the references like “Indiana Jones” and “Thelma and Louise.” It gives a nice visual and movies are almost always a safe bet when needing something to compare something else to. My favorite line in the first person perspective is, “The human inclination towards self preservation is putting up a fight against this action that seems downright suicidal.” It sounds so elegant and is something that I can relate to.  Your attention to detail with how you were feeling and how your friends were acting, I felt like I was on the cliff with you guys, watching as you hesitated to jump off and I liked the way the first perspective ended with you wanting to go again because that’s a classic feeling that can be related to. I also couldn’t help but laugh at the end of the third person perspective. It was so hilarious that South Point is the breeding grounds for sharks! And the way the story was told from a stranger’s perspective, not even paying much attention to you guys jumping into shark infested water is just too funny. I hope you guys knew what you were jumping into before actually jumping!  And I know I’m supposed to critique something, but I really enjoyed every bit of this blog, and there’s not one thing I would change.

Miranda: Prompt 29 really made me want to go jump in some rain puddles. I totally remember doing that as a little girl and having my grandparents or mom tell me to stop in case it causes me to catch a cold, but I love the visualizations and the idea behind it. It was such a cute piece and I like your metaphors of rain being like tiny kisses. It really brings out your personality in the writings. For the blog, “Gonna go with Uncomfortable,” my favorite line was the very last sentence which describes your most uncomfortable place as being as the one place you count on. I liked your descriptions that led up to that conclusion and I found that it really tied it all together. You did a great job with the details and I’m sorry to hear that your step-mom was so lousy, which by the way, I hate small fat statues too.

Nicola: Sorry we missed your writing this time! Look forward to the next time!

Prompt 33: Unsuspecting Awkward

   I’m not sure if most people would consider this place to be uncomfortable or even unusual, but for me this place always makes me feel the most self-conscious, the most anxious, and the most awkward. At first, I would voluntarily go there in an effort to increase my self-esteem, but eventually after several attempts at trying to remain unaware of my surroundings, it became a place I dreaded having to go into alone. The worst part is that while I would be inside this place, all I could think about were the people around me and if they were watching me and judging me, and in the beginning, I was embarrassed if my sweat showed through my shirts, or if my hair wagged like a horse’s tail as it bobbed from side to side, or if anyone could tell I hadn’t shaved my legs that day. I was constantly picking out my faults and running scenarios through my head of what the people surrounding me must be thinking. I couldn’t help but repeatedly check my sides for wandering eyes or quiet whispers, as I tried to keep myself from running like the wind out the door.

   The place I am describing might be a favorite place for some, it might even feel like their safe haven or place of release, but it’s never felt homely to me. The smell that radiates up from the floors reeks of mildew and sweat. Right as you walk in, there are wind-tunnel sounds and quick feet, there are sounds of running water and slurping, there is music echoing enthusiasm down the halls, there are words of encouragement and determination being shouted from a glass room lined with mirrors, and the sounds of dead weight being hammered to the floor. As I look around there is spandex galore, headphones a plenty, and wet skin everywhere. There are people of all different shapes and sizes, different skin tones and musculature, and different techniques. There are the cardio gurus, the juiceheads, and the New Year Resolutioners who make up the variety of members.

   The gym is my place of dread. It is the place where it does not matter how many people can go with me to workout, I still remain paranoid that I am being mentally persecuted for not being a healthier individual or for not being in the correct BMI range due to my genetic assets. I think it’s just the overall atmosphere of having well built athletes surrounding me for a couple hours as I struggle to overcome the minimum activities that the rest of them could do in their sleep with their hands tied behind their backs. Whatever the cause, the gym has this affect on me and it’s one I am trying to overpower to this day.  

Prompt 29: A Day at Out of Africa

The italicized is my nephew Landon’s perspective and the regular print is my thoughts.

  It’s Sunday morning and we are getting ready to take our nephew to Out of Africa for a safari ride. It will be Landon’s first time ever going to a zoo-like place so I can’t wait to see how he is going to respond when we get there. After grabbing a few blue-berry muffins, all of us load up into the jeep and head out to the freeway.

  Ahh…finally awake. I’m not quite sure where I’m at, but I see my mom and dad and some people I have been told are my auntie and uncle, so I guess I don’t need to freak out yet. I don’t know what we are doing today, but eww…doggy!!! There is this brown dog that keeps licking my face and a smaller dog that wags its tail in front of me. Okay puppies that’s enough. I can’t handle too much. I do get overwhelmed. So mom comes in the room and gets me into jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. Then I get my DC shoes on which I think are totally rad and we head out into the kitchen where I get a muffin! I don’t know what it’s made out of but it’s delicious! Umm…yum..yum…yum. I get picked up and then we head out to the car…bummer…I hate being in that carseat…it’s so uncomfortable.

  It’s been an hour and a half in the car already and I am getting so anxious to get there. I drank an energy drink that Landon asked so politely to try, but I couldn’t give him any even though he did ask please. It’s so hard to say no to that face especially when he’s so polite. We have about a half hour left to go and I’m actually already feeling sleepy, so I think I might just take a quick power nap.

  Holy cow…where are we going? Where ever it is, it better be ridiculously awesome because my butt is starting to go numb and all I want to do is get out of this seat. Auntie Nynn just got a purplish drink and all I want is a tiny sip from it, but she won’t give me any. I even asked “peeeese..” with my best face I could give her and she still said no. I just want a drop…just a drop. I’m looking at her with my big brown eyes, trying to convince her to give some to me just because I’m so cute, but she looks like she is about to pass out. She looks even more tired than I do and I am the king of sleepiness. Maybe if I go to sleep too, she’ll give me some when we wake up.

   I feel the car jerk. I look out the window and see the sign with an arrow on it pointing towards the parking lot for Out of Africa. Finally, we have arrived. The car parks and I hear Justin and my brother, Bryce, making fun of Landon and me because we were sleeping for so long, but I don’t really mind the criticism because at least I feel more awake now. I look over at Landon and his eyes are wide-eyed, trying to look around his car seat to see where we are. He begins spouting out gibberish in excitement and asks to be picked up out of the car seat so he can get out and run around.

  Woah…my head bangs against the side of my car seat. Shoot. I hate it when that happens but I see a lion on a sign that we are just about to drive by and forget all about my head hurting. “Roar! I hope I get to see one up close!” I say out load but by the look on my Aunt’s face, I don’t think she understood what I just said. I know she’ll understand “up” so I yell it out hoping she’ll pick me up out of my seat. All I want to do is take a look around, look at where they’ve all taken me, and see what the big deal is about.

   We get out of the jeep, grab our packs, and try to keep up with Landon as he runs towards the entrance of the park. We call out to him to slow down, but he seems to be in a hurry, and we rush to catch up. We walk up to the Admissions’ booth to buy our tickets and decide to upgrade our package to the more private tour in which we get up close and personal to a giraffe and could possibly even touch one. That would be so exciting and I bet Landon would love it! So once we get our tickets, we head to the tram, which takes up the hill to where we load onto the next truck for our safari ride.

  Freedom!!! OoO…look at those posts with animals on them! They are so cool! I need to get closer! I look back at my family as if to notify them of my thoughts and then take off in the direction of the wooden animals. I hear my aunt’s footsteps following closely behind and soon I am swooped up into her arms. Haha…I love that feeling in my tummy when I am flown into the air. She then continues to carry me towards this glass window in which some lady behind the glass starts talking about random stuff. Sounds like gibberish to me; however, I do hear a few familiar words like “giraffe” and “zebra” and I can’t wait to see what’s coming next. All of sudden I am then whisked away and we get on this motor thing that takes up a dirt hill to another big yellow truck! “Vroom Vroom!” I love big trucks!

  We’re on the safari ride for only a few minutes and then we get to the area where the giraffe is located. I watch as Landon’s eyes light up and he yells in excitement. He is such a cutie, pointing at every animal he sees and then giggling. I’m so happy he loves where we are at. The vehicle stops next to the giraffe and we were given cookies at the beginning of the trip so that we could feed the giraffe, so we get Landon ready with cookie in hand, hoping to get the giraffe enticed enough to lick his whole hand. But as the giraffe gets closer, Landon’s lit face begins to fade into a more frightened look, and he turns into his mom as the giraffe sticks its head into the opening in the vehicle. His shyness unfortunately took over and he can’t help but be afraid of the giant animal slowly getting closer to him. I don’t blame him for being frightened, but it’s too bad he’ll miss his chance at being kissed by a giraffe.

   Woohoo!!! This is awesome! Bounce, bounce, bounce. This car is so bumpy, but it’s so much fun. I look around me…all my family looks like they are having a great time. They just keep looking at me and smiling so I know they are having as much fun as I am. All of a sudden the truck stops near this tall spotted animal. It’s so big! It looks so soft, but why does it keep getting closer? I reach for my mom’s sweater where I find a little bit of comfort, but then the big thing gets even closer. Auntie Nynn keeps saying, “Giraffe, giraffe” but I don’t know what that has to do with this thing coming closer. O gosh, it’s head is right in my face. It’s in my bubble! Too close! Too close! I turn my head into my mom. She’ll make it go away. She always protects me. Plus if she can’t get the thing to move away, dad is close too so he can handle it if it gets too out of control. I turn my head again and this time the thing is further away. Thank God. I can finally breathe again and wow! Look at the striped horses! They’re so pretty!

  Landon finally looks back out once the giraffe starts to walk away. All of sudden he catches a glimpse at the zebras standing to side of the truck and that excited grin begins to quickly reform across his face. What a cutie.

Peer Review After Spring Break!

Matt: “Banter With Bad Boy Billy” – I really enjoyed reading this blog, and I am glad that you were able to give us lots of background detail before springing into the dialogue. It sucks how rotten your friend’s life seems to be going, and because of your attention to detail, I felt like I was standing at a distance watching your guys’ conversation with your face freaking out as the conversation progressed and your friend’s smile fading as you kept asking the wrong questions.  I definitely can relate to that particular incident. “More Office Hijinx” – It was definitely another story that I found interesting. You really make me feel like I am there in the story with you because of how much background you provide. It’s a good thing, in my eyes. The only thing I could see needed a revision was one of the last sentences when Bob is asking Mike about the snake…”Can you can see how this could be a bad idea?” It’s just a typo, but that’s all I could find.  “Why I Can’t Write This Prompt” – What’s funny about this blog is that you technically did do that prompt by persuading us that you were incapable of being persuasive without being aggressive, yet it actually works. It’s a subtle argument and although you might not have meant to persuade us, you in fact did. Good job for not meaning to try.

Miranda: “Homeless Ravioli” – You did a great job following the dialogue prompt on this one. There was very little background and you let the dialogue do the explaining. I couldn’t find anything that needed critiquing on that one. It looked and read great to me. “The Crazy They Bring” – What an awesome story to tell. Just from the all the dialogue, I could tell how frustrating and confusing it could have been to have your friend make plans and then cancel, but at least in the end your friends really didn’t flake. I was seriously keeping my fingers crossed for you as the blog continued, just hoping that your friends were messing with you on your birthday. The dialogue was great and easy to follow. “I Will Win” – It’s a nice short and sweet piece. I understand your feelings behind glitter not being accepted and how that can be especially irritating to you when other works of art, that really don’t seem to have anything special about them, are considered priceless works of art. I like the simplicity behind the blog.

Nicola: “Drawing an Interaction” -  The blog was quite interesting. I don’t know very much about architecture and drafting, so it was nice to hear more about a subject that is unfamiliar to me. The only thing I might offer advice about is making some sentences into compound or complex sentences because I think a few of the sentences were fragments, but other then that I appreciated the divided paragraphs and what you had to say. J “Dialogue” – Super cute story! Your daughter sounds very bright and she’s lucky to have you be there for her with school. And by the way, I like your idea behind the money for grades…I bet that really works. And you did a fine job with the dialogue. All that I can suggest is punctuation and working on where to place the commas and such in each paragraph. Other then that, great job!

Prompt 27: Aggressive NOT Welcome

  Are you a dog lover? Do you own any dogs yourself? If you do, have you ever taken your dog(s) to a dog park before? Well, if you have, then maybe you will understand what I am about to say: I don’t understand and I don’t like people who bring their aggressive dogs to a dog park.

  I have two dogs of my own, Tug and Gem, and I love them like they were my own children so when one of them gets upset or hurt, I act like a protective mother and come to their rescue every time.  And it has just been lately that I have begun to notice the abundance of aggressive dogs at the dog park. For instance, I watched as this one guy brought his boxer (not that the breed is known for aggressive behavior) to the park and right as he released the dog into the designated area, his dog went straight after the neck of another pup that was just innocently prancing around, admiring the smells. Now, if I were the owner of that victimized puppy, I would have been infuriated. I don’t care if that person thinks that by bringing his angry dog to the dog park, that miraculously his dog will become more docile…I don’t want my own puppies being the Ginny pig while the owner hopes for his dog to become more sociable.

   Even on a more objective perspective, who would put an aggressive dog in situation in which a lawsuit could occur? One bite and that owner can consider him/herself bankrupt because there will be medical bills, attorney fees, and if the owner of the victimized dog decides to sue, they can even claim emotional distress. And in a case of repetitive claims of violence against the aggressive dog, the owner might even be forced to put their own puppy to sleep. So why take the risk?

   If a person is so concerned with their dog’s social skills with other dogs, then instead of taking their dog to the dog park where there is little control over what might happen, they should take their dogs to obedience training or have the “Dog Whisperer” come to their house. I bet getting professional help would cost less then any legal fees or vet bills.  And if the sole purpose of taking their dogs to the dog park is for exercise, taking a dog for a walk around the neighborhood is just as effective, not to mention more conducive to their own health.

  So for all the owners of aggressive dogs out there, I just have one question for you: Can you please leave your aggressive dog at home?

Prompt 25: The Goog Knows Best

Today, my grandparents and me have decided to plow the weeds in my backyard during midmorning, and the sun is already starting to affect us physically. My grandfather has a hoe and has already been trucking away at the weeds in the dirt, my grandmother, being allergic to the sun, is taking a moment to rest in the shade and enjoy her freshly brewed ice tea, and I am with another hoe trying to keep up with my grandfather’s quickness.

  Goog (That’s what we call my grandmother) calls out to Bawpa (AKA “George” or grandpa), “Hun, don’t you think you should take a short break? Get out of the sun for a bit?”

Bawpa with tired and frustrated look responds, “No, I’m not thirsty. I’ll break in a few minutes.”

“Well honey, I just want to make sure you don’t get dehydrated. You know how harsh the Arizona sun can be.”

“I know, Kathy (AKA “Goog”), but I don’t want anything to drink.”

“Okay, I’m just saying when you start to feel tired, there will be a glass of nice cold ice tea waiting for you.”

I continue to savagely hoe away at the never-ending cluster of weeds while listening to their conversation, and when I take a moment to look up, I see Bawpa heading into the shade. I look at Goog to see what she has to say about it.

She graciously giggles, “I guess it just had to be his idea for him to want to take a break. I knew he was getting tired, I could tell by the way he was hoeing, he wasn’t going to make it much longer.”

“O Kathy, that’s not true.”

Goog replies, “Uh huh, fifty-three years been married. I think I know my own husband.”

“Okay Goog, sure. Whatever you say honey,” as he continues to drink the ice tea.

Prompt 22, Variation 2: Crushes

This is from an elementary child’s perspective. Let me know if anything gets too confusing. Thanks!

The bell rings. 12:15pm. I can feel my tummy grumbling, so I am so happy it’s finally lunch time. I usually like Ms. Shipp’s Algebra lectures, but after lunch, during recess, Zay is going to ask Ryan and Alex who they “like-like,” and I’m hoping one of them picks me.  We form a line at the door; my paper bag lunch hangs to my side as we march down the two flights of stairs to the back yard area where we can sit at our picnic tables. Every girl in my class knows what is going to happen once the half hour is up for our lunch break, so we are all giddy with excitement. Brittany, Rachel, Dana, and me all find our usual seats and begin chatting away. Brittany starts, “I bet Ryan won’t even like anyone.” Rachel jumps in with her two-cents, “Yeah, well I bet Alex will pick Lindsey. He’s always staring at her during class.” And while I blush in silence all of the girls join in together with the, “EwWw…”

   We hear the bell ring again, telling us that recess is now in session, and we are free to get out of our seats and head to the black top area in the front of the school. The four of us girls follow closely behind Zay as we reach the basketball courts on the black top where Ryan and Alex are playing. Zay, without fear or hesitation, walks right up to the two boys and begins her questioning:

  “Hey boys…so us girls were wondering something…”

  Ryan and Alex stop the ball as it bounces off the backboard and look towards the group of girls huddled on what was supposed to be their recess basketball game. “O yeah…what’s up?”

 “Well we were wondering… if you had to like someone in the class, like, “like-like” someone, who would it be?”

Ryan and Alex look at each other as if they weren’t sure what would be the coolest response. Should they actually say someone who might be a someone standing in the crowd before them or should they play it cool and not actually tell? As the seconds feel like forever as the clock ticks on while they debate between themselves, us girls, fiddle with our hair and fingers as we wait.

Ryan is the first to respond, “Well, I don’t know about Alex, but I don’t like anyone in the class.” His face turns a slight shade of pink as he makes eye contact with every girl in the crowd. Then Alex, looking at his best friend next to him, responds, “What do you mean by “like-like” someone?”

Zay quickly replies, “Like is there a girl in the class you have a crush on?”

Alex’s face is blank. He takes a look around the crowd of girls. He looks at Ryan. Then I see him look at me. He continues to fiddle with the basketball; rolling it between his two hands.

Zay cuts in before he can speak, “It’s just if you had to like someone in the class, who would it be?”

This time I know I make eye contact with Alex. His face still blank, but his cheeks become more crimson right before he speaks. “Well, I guess if I had to like-like someone, I would pick…Lindsey.” All the girls look at me. I lose eye contact with Alex as the girls giggle and swarm around me in excitement.

Zay starts in again. “Okay…so Ryan if you had to like someone, who would it be? And you can’t say no one. You have to choose one girl.”

Ryan and I make eye contact, but then I look away because I would be too embarrassed if both boys picked me, and what happens if they then ask me who I would pick? I wouldn’t know what to say. Luckily Ryan looks directly at Brittany and then at Zay. It figures he would like Brittany or Zay; both of them are athletic and Brittany has long beautiful blond hair. Not to mention, Zay is the best basketball player we have on our girls’ team and she is the fastest runner in cross-country. Of course, he would pick one of them. Ryan finally brings his eyes to a pause, looks at Alex, and slowly pulls Zay aside, away from the rest of us girls. We can’t hear his response but I can tell he does actually say something by the way Zay’s eyes light up after the whispering finishes. Ryan returns to Alex and grabs the basketball from his hands. “Let’s finish this game before the bell rings.”

All of us girls scurry over to Zay to have her dish on what Ryan told her. All at once, each girl in the group asks variations of the same question, “What did he say?” “Who did he pick?” Zay looks at each girl, making each girl she looks at think it might be her. Then she stops and as she is begins to spill, “Well he said if he had to like someone…” The bell rings. Teacher chaperones begin blowing whistles trying to get all of us back into formation to head back to class. All of us girls, hurry into our lines but try to get Zay to tell us the rest of the sentence. More whistles blow, and we are rushing towards the entrance. It’s too late. There is a mandatory silence while walking through the hallways, so we are no longer able to speak to one another. I see Ryan and Alex. Alex still has a blush look and sweet eyes as he looks in my direction, but Ryan keeps his feelings hidden as I look for any clues as who he might have picked. Our teacher tells us to face forward while walking, so I guess if there were any nonverbal communications happening, I wouldn’t be able to tell. I quickly look forward and walk on wondering who might have picked.   

Hello to the New Peers for Peer Review!

Matt: Hi Matt! I’m really glad Patel put us in the same Peer Group. I really appreciate the suggestions you made about my writing…I found them very helpful! For your prompt 20, I can tell you put a lot of thought into what you were writing about. I especially enjoyed your final paragraph in which you called your boss at the worst possible moment and said your ever-so-sweet farewells. I couldn’t help but laugh. I also admire how much detail you put into your writing. When you write about something you definitely don’t just skim the surface, and I find that appealing. I like reading stories where there’s nothing left to guessing and you definitely do that.

If there’s anything I could critique about the blog, is that in the fourth paragraph, a sentence reads, “I only had to manage to hold a particular set of accounts together for a week at a time,” and I thought it could have been rewritten a little differently since it sounds a little funky when I read it. Maybe it could be written, “I only had to manage a particular set of accounts together for a week at a time?” or possibly, “I was only able to hold a particular set of accounts together for a week at a time?” I’m not quite sure what you were trying to say so I thought I could give suggestions for that.

  For Prompt 21, I don’t know if there is anything to critique! I really like how it was from a third person perspective, and how you were able to write so well without incorporating yourself into the actual essay. Again, there were tons of details that really make the visualizations come to life, and I really got the idea of what the people on the strip are like. The dialogue you added to the story only made everything seem more real and funny. I enjoyed the dialogue about the strippers and smelling like strawberries…because “from what I’ve heard,” strippers really do wear fruity perfumes and lotions.

Nicola: Hello Nicola! I enjoy the simplicity of your writing, and how direct you are when getting to the topic of the story and what it entails. One thing I think that could help the blogs is separating the entire blog into individual paragraphs. For Prompt 20, I felt like the whole blog could have been separated into the introduction, supporting paragraphs, and then the conclusion. With it being one paragraph everything seems to blend together. I also felt like some sentences could have been joined together and not in short choppy sentences. For instance, “The next portion is the gathering of the coal, which are broken into smaller pieces and put into about six five pound buckets. Which are then loaded into the truck.” The two sentences could be rewritten as a complex sentence like, “The next portion is the gathering of the coal, which are broken into smaller pieces and put into about six five pound buckets; which are then loaded into the truck.”

 In prompt 21, the first sentence might be a run-on sentence. You could make it into two sentences by placing a period after “experience” and capitalizing “all.” You also tend to use language that more familiar to the culture that you write about, but perhaps for people, like me, who aren’t familiar; maybe you could go into more detail about what they are and how they relate to the story. That way, without giving the readers an actual definition, we can get the idea of what they mean from the details.

Miranda: Hi again! “Leaving a trail of giggles and delight,” I totally love the visualizations you give because of the way you give it. I can definitely image what the little girl looks like running “around and around,” just like you described, and I completely understand the nerve-wrecking feeling of watching another person’s small child and looking at every object in the room as a potential hazard. For “S&M – educational or trashy?” I couldn’t agree more with your feelings about Rihanna being too explicit in her music. I especially enjoyed the line you wrote, “it seems as though her attempt to make a loud impression could have maybe had a bit more class and a bit less ass.” Hands down, couldn’t agree more.

Prompt 21: Nascar fans

 The races used to come to Phoenix International Raceway every March in Arizona, but this year, NASCAR came in February.  The weather channel had predicted a heavy rainfall to pour on that Sunday the cars were supposed to race; however, by some odd miracle, the sun shined through scattered clouds giving the perfect weather conditions for an awesome race.

  On that Sunday, fans from all over the country arrived to watch the Sprint Cup Series racecars fly around the racetrack three hundred and twelve times going almost two hundred miles an hour. Like most races, thousands of people of all different colors, shapes, and sizes came cheer on their favorite driver. It was like a madhouse while trying to walk to the stadium, holding on tight to the person accompanying me in an effort to not lose one another, dodging through crowds of people. If there was ever a perfect place to “people watch” this was the place. There were men with beards, some with just the classic foo-man-chew, others with large sideburns. Some fans were sporting their driver’s memorabilia, whether is was just a simple hat on their head or pajama pants with a repetitive pattern of a driver’s number plastered all over.  Or there were even the extremely supportive fans that had applied face paint to various parts of their body in order to overly express their encouragement.  As we made our way to the gate to get into the stadium and to our hill seats, it seemed like the sea of people continued to expand the further we walked.

 Now I have to admit, when I originally thought of NASCAR, I thought of rednecks and beer as well as Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights; yet, once I finally experienced more then one race, I found so much more then I could have anticipated. Of course, there were some rednecks and definitely a lot of beer, but there were also just very passionate fans and families out to support their favorite driver. I once asked an extreme NASCAR fan to list three things he thinks of when I mention NASCAR fans and this was his response, “Wild, intense, and passionate.” He said that fans do get wild and rowdy when at a race because of the intense passion they have for the sport. “It’s practically three and a half hours of constant stress when watching a race because it’s not a 50/50 chance of your driver winning, it’s much less then that, so as a fan in the stands (or on the hill), all you can do is stress and express your intense emotions while you cross your fingers that your driver doesn’t crash or get spun out. That is why we get so wild.”  So the idea that I originally had of NASCAR fans being rednecks with beer was not quite accurate, in fact, it was not quite right at all. Once seated on the hill, I took another glance around and found a variety of people surrounding me. There was a couple of fathers below me with their sons trying to have some quality bonding time as they cheered for Jeff Gordon to win, there was another family below them with flags waving in memory of Dale Earnheart, who passed away ten years ago, and there was a drunk guy with headphones on swaying to his own rhythm as he listened in on what the newscasters had to say, but for the most part the people at the NASCAR event were just loyal fans looking to show their support for driver in America’s top sport.

***Sorry this was such an abrupt blog. I had a hard time getting into this particular prompt.***

Prompt #20: Ridiculously Overwhelming

***Bare with me readers…I’m trying a new style. Regular font is dialogue, Italicized is supposed to be my thoughts, and bold is narration. Let me know what you think! Thanks!***

“Okay. I should only be gone for about an hour and a half, which means I should be back here by 2:30pm and you can take your lunch break at 3:00pm. Sound good?”

Sure sounds great except I’ve never been unsupervised in the restaurant before so this should be interesting.

“Yeah! No worries boss! I’ll call if I need anything. Have fun!”

I’ve worked at Romeo’s Pizza and Pasta for almost three and a half years now. It’s just a small family owned Italian restaurant located on one of the busiest streets in my hometown. The actual restaurant is situated underneath an apartment complex facing the street in front. When I first got hired here, I started as a server just waiting on tables and answering phone calls, but over the years I have dappled into the other jobs of the restaurant. After serving, I starting helping washing dishes, I became overly interested in cooking so I began working as a prep cook, then a pizza cook, and finally I have surpassed them all and began learning the pasta chef roles. On Fridays, like today, I generally start my shift in the late morning in order to prepare certain foods for later in the day, and also to wait tables during lunchtime; however, on this particular Friday, my boss who is also the owner of the restaurant has a soccer game he must attend to, so he is leaving the fate of his restaurant in my hands for the late lunch hours. The only tricky part is that I am the only person working in the restaurant at this time except our delivery man, who I expect will be too busy driving orders around town to help me out in the kitchen or in the dining area.

  Okay. I need to keep it together. Only two hours till he returns, and we’ve already had the normal lunch rush, so maybe, just maybe I’ll be perfectly fine by myself. After all, it’s only cooking, serving, and cleaning that I have to do by myself. What can go wrong? Time to start my check list: To Go Salads…check. Caesar dressing made…check. Lettuce cut…check. Chicken cut…check. Food prep ready and stocked…check. Dining area clean…check. Alright, not a bad start. Everything is prepped and ready to go.

Phone rings.

Oh boy.

My hair stands on end. I can feel my heart rate increase and the anxiety rush in. I answer the phone, “Romeo’s, how may I help you?”

O thank God. It’s only a pizza order for pick up. I can do that. No problem.

After the order is placed, I hang up the phone. I get over to the kitchen area, grab the freshly printed tag and hang it up on the counter in front of me and begin to knee out the pizza dough. Once it’s at the proper diameter, I transfer the dough to a metal screen where I begin to spread marinara sauce evenly across the dough. I add the cheese and toppings and place the pizza into the oven. I look at the clock, 1:04, I’ll check back on it in six minutes.

Phone rings again.

Alright six minutes…six minutes…I can’t forget to check on the pizza in six minutes.

I answer the phone using the same interlude, and follow the normal procedures. I finish the conversation and hear the printer in the kitchen print another tab. Then I hear the door open. An elderly couple walks in and say they would like to dine in.

“Please take a seat wherever you like. I’ll come to you in a minute.”

I grab a couple menus, head over to their table, and ask if I can get them something to drink.

O crap. Has it already been six minutes? I can’t see the clock. Hopefully these two can decide on a drink soon. I can’t have a pizza burn on my watch.

I get the drink order. I briskly head back to kitchen. I’m only a minute late to check on the pizza. I look in the oven, grab the paddle over head, and take a peek at the pizza inside. It’s totally fine. I rotate the metal screen and close the oven door. I walk to the pasta section where the tag I had printed a minute ago is hanging. It’s only a chicken Caesar salad with a side of garlic cheese bread.

No problem. This is a breeze. I can have this order ready in five minutes flat.

The phone rings again.

O please…let this be another easy order. I only have five minutes till the first pizza is ready and I still need to check on the couple in the dining area.

I answer the phone. It’s a pick up order. Pastas. My eyes get wider in worry of which pasta the customer may choose.

As long as a customer doesn’t order a Seafood pasta, everything will be fine. I can do everything else pretty well except the Seafood pasta…the whole balance of clam juice, white wine, and cream has always seem to elude me.

It’s only a spaghetti with meatballs and creamy pesto tortellini. I finish the phone call, check the time. One minute till the pizza is ready. I grab the drinks for the couple and head out to hopefully take their order.  It’s a simple order: two garden salads, an order of breadsticks, and a personal Mediterranean Pizza for them to share.

I better walk fast. I need to get that pizza out of the oven and the garlic cheese bread in the oven. Then, I can place the ‘dine-in’ order, slice up the pizza, grab the garden salads, make the personal pizza and get it in the oven, start on the pastas for ‘pick-up,’ and hopefully have everything finish in time before the customers begin to arrive. O yeah…I got this.

But as I get part way through my ingenious plan, I am interrupted again by another group colleagues looking for somewhere to sit.

“Anywhere is fine! I’ll be with you guys in one second!” I yell as I try to finish bagging the garlic cheese bread and chicken Caesar salad, fumbling as I rush to grab menus. The phone goes off. The second phone goes off.

I better be getting a raise soon. This is so hectic. I feel so overwhelmed. I still have a personal pizza in the oven and I can’t be on both phones at once. I need to give these people some menus and get their drinks out, but I’m only one person! Just breathe…woosaw…inhale…exhale…

I finally get things in order. The new customers get their menus, I grab each phone, one by one, ask politely for them to hold, take out the personal pizza for the first table, answer the phone calls while the pasta noodles boil, and eventually get to the newest table of customers and deliver their drinks. I do all of this one step at time and without burning one of the pizzas or the sauces.

Man, I am awesome. And look at that 2:30 has just rolled around, and look there, the boss is actually on time. Woohoo! Lunch break!

The Boss: “So how was everything? It looks like you have everything under control. I told you it wouldn’t get too busy. Great job!”

“O yeah. No sweat boss.”   Man, if he only knew. I wipe my brow and head out the doors for my lunch break.