Miranda: The Blank blog in which you wrote about your interaction with a “Christian” friend was really good. I really enjoyed your comparisons with a mountain, especially the sentence, “Strangely enough, this mountain recently became a Kilimanjaro of sorts, involving a friend.” I thought it was a nice way to foreshadow the dialogue that followed in the next paragraph. The dialogue seemed effortless on your part, and easy to follow as a reader. I even enjoyed the part after the ---click--- which you told us you had never really hung up on someone before. It gave us a better understanding of how irritated you must have been. I know I would have been frustrated. “Sensational” as one paragraph was a perfect choice. By using just one paragraph I was given the impression of how you might talk to someone about glitter, not stopping for air till it was necessary, just babbling on about the wonders of glitter. I felt that was a perfect fit with how excited you seem to be about glitter.
Matt: “The Day I Lost Faith in Company Loyalty” left me thinking…”dun dun dun…” That sucks that after the whole big speech about not laying off employees, they still had to lay you off. On the bright side, the way you wrote about it painted a clear picture of how everything happened. From the beginning speech I knew a lay-off was coming. It was like a clear foreshadowing of what was to come. By the way, I know I have mentioned this in previous peer reviews, but the ease you have at switching from dialogue to narration is unbelievable. You have a great gift for fluidity in your writing. The only critique I could give you are just reread what you write because there were a few typos and repeated words. Other then that awesome job! “What Can I Say? I am My Father’s Son” was very descriptive with all of the comparisons you made. I really enjoyed how the story began from a younger boy’s perspective with tonka trucks and what not to an young man’s perspective to an adult’s perspective. I felt like you took us through a timeline from your perspective through your writing and there is nothing that I could critique about that. Awesome story.
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